Role Model
by cerrdy
Summary: He had obligations, duties to protect his family. But not just because he was a Death Scythe, becuase he was a Daddy. Collection of Oneshots as Soul steps into the world of fatherhood. Soul x Maka!
1. A Miracle named Angel

A/N: Hiya everyone- just taking a break from _Winter Waltz _since the writing block as been.. Evil. I mean, I know what goes next its just… writing it and getting the flow. Anyways this kinda popped in my head after reading Chapter 62 of the manga.

After becoming Death Scythe, Soul is growing up. I needed to do something, to vision just how Soul would be like_- when he's a proud daddy!_

Just in time for Father's Day!

Yay for one shots!

ENJOY!

-Cerrdy

Dislaimer: I don't own Soul Eater….

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ROLE MODEL

Rated: M- for Soul's potty mouth and bloody scenes

Title: A Miracle named 'Angel'

Eyes of crimson, bore into the urethral lifeless white.

His breath, ragged and rough in his throat. Sweat, coated his exposed flesh, and matted his white, messy hair. His jaw tight and tensed. Every bone, every muscle, every fibre of his being, was overflowing with instincts. Bones ached from the onslaught of bruises. How many walls, exactly, had his body gone through?… _He'd lost track_. He felt his blood, trailing the length of his jaw, dripping onto his new, but now torn-to-shreds, leather jacket.

Really, it was _only _a week old.

Gritting his jagged, shark-like teeth, Soul Eater Evans knew what was in front of him. He could read it's blood lustful eyes; he knew exactly _why _it was here, and _what _it _wanted_.

_And he'd be damned if he let that son of bitch get it_.

He had obligations now.

He was a proud, and powerful, kick-freaking-ass, Death Scythe.

Not to mention, unbelievably cool.

The creature in front of him, a kishin-egg lost in the void of insanity, extended its long claws. The same claws that had torn Soul's jacket, and _'grazed' _his abdominal muscles, only a few moments ago. Its long, reptilian tongue, fell out of its mouth, moistening it's blood drenched teeth- the ones that sunk in Soul's arm a moment ago.

Soul mirrored the demon's action. Only instead of having claws, Soul's arm transformed into a bad-ass blade. The blade was painted black, red jagged teeth on the blade's side; made for ripping and tearing into anything it made contact with. Bright, glistening silver trimmed the teeth's edges, making the blade as lethal, and dangerous as it seemed. It also made a excellent clean slice.

It was the last one. He ploughed through them all. Took off their limbs, bloodied the earth and destroyed their tainted, souls.

_All thirty three of them. _

Because that's what the coolest, bad-assed Death Scythe, would do.

And he was about to make it thirty-four.

As the kishin-egg charged, Soul did as well.

It was different now. If that demon killed him, and got what it wanted- _No_. It won't. It won't hurt them.

Because it was his duty…. It was his duty to protect his _family_.

But not just as Death Scythe…

…_But as a father._

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"_Maka! PUSH!"_

Clamping her jaw shut, nearly crushing the enamel of her teeth, and using all the will power and strength, her body could muster- she pushed. _And sweet Shinigami, did it ever hurt_! In a gritted scream, she propped her lying body up, bearing all her body's weight on the palms on her hands. Spreading her legs, she hardened her shoulder muscles- begging for them to hold her up, just long enough to fight. She transferred all her strength to muscles to her thighs. Tears ran down her eyes as the intensity ran through her.

"Now breathe, Maka." Stein instructed as he had settled himself between her legs. " Remember what I told you?"

At first, it was awkward, having, not only one of your teachers, but a teacher who fancied _dissecting _every living thing, interacting with your _nether regions_- regions that you don't really want _anyone _to interact with.

She nodded erratically. Inhaling sharply before, puffing out short, but consistent breaths. She felt her cheeks inflate with air, before puffing them out like a fish. She must look awfully ridiculous.

Then again, she wouldn't have been in this predicament in the first place, if she hadn't have let her partner go playing in the …play pen.

No matter how amazing that '_playing' _was.

'Push!" Stein commanded, again.

And she did. In another gritted scream, she transferred all her energy and will, again, to that one push.

When it happened, there was so much happiness- the pregnancy, not the playing part; although that too had some very favourable upside down, trips to _Happyland_.'- Everyone was so happy. Black Star and Kidd fought over the god parent role, since.. Well, you know, it had the '_God' _title to it. But it was happy moments. That is to say, when her Papa found out… well that wasn't all happy. There were threats, and there was almost a fight to the death, if she hadn't had knocked them _both _into a coma- okay, so she spared Soul a little- But Soul was good. Amazing really. No matter what was thrown at him, he handled it. It made her, admire him more, and more. It made her see, just what kind of man he really was. And she more then pleased.

She honestly felt, like the luckiest woman on earth.

Even more, when she was made into a Evans.

_Maka Evans._

But then, the word of her happiness had spread to other ears. The Kishin himself became aware, and one by one he sent out minions, to take both child and mother's life.

Things got.. Well they just got _bad_. Instead of risking their friends lives, Soul and Maka had to go into hiding until the baby was born. Everything felt okay then. Stein went with them, to check up on the child's health.

_But they still found them._

And as fate would have it, as the Kishin sent a hoard of insanity-filled-monsters, Maka went into labour. While Stein dealt with that party-waiting to burst, Soul was out there, by himself.

_Protecting them all._

And as she pushed again, against gritted teeth; she couldn't help but curse Soul's name under her breath.

"_Goddamn you Soul! You better stay alive! You hear me!?"_

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It's agile claws struck air as Soul ducked quickly, before impact. Sliding under the monster's grotesque form, dragging his body along the broken, rock pavement; Soul took out two of it's many legs.

Blood coated the pavement, as the creature roared in agony. Angry and sore, the kishin-egg monster's tail whisked in the air, slamming hard against the Death Scythes torso. Soul was sent flying through the air, before hitting, _yet again_, another wall. Grunting, Soul crumbled slightly as he lost his balance. Grimacing, he felt his shoulder unlock from it's socket.

_That's not good._

His courage was slipping. Fear of watching that creature decimate his future, crawled into his vision. But he wouldn't let that happen. Closing his eyes for moment, he reached out his soul.

_He heard her_. He heard her desperate cries as she battled on.

His soul embraced her, being where he should be. He should be there, by her side, holding her hands and watching a miracle take place. A smile spread on his lips.

He wanted to see her glow, like she always did after a victorious battle.

He wanted to hold his new-born son and watch him grow.

Hearing the demon's roar, Soul opened his bloody eyes slowly. As the blurred creature came into focus, Soul's crimson eyes hardened.

_And he would._

Charging, the demon roared again, bent on finishing the Death Scythe off. Minutes away from the impact of the giant monster, Soul straightened his body. Ignoring all the pain, he stretched out his bloody arms, before transforming.

Silver shimmered in the air, as the blades formed.

_Nothing in this world was going to take that happiness from him._

_-----------------------------------------_

"_Alright Maka! One more push!"_

With a strangled cry, she reached her limit.

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The demon hit the building, smashing it into ruins, but the Death Scythe was not under it's rubble. Before it even had a chance to look up, Soul came down on top of it. With incredible force, Soul pinned the demon to the ground. Panting, Soul's scythe arm was impaled into the creature's long leather neck. The demon's lifeless eyes stared back into his. Blood pooled out it's mouth.

"_The Angel of Death's spawn must not be born_." Its disembodied voice ordered.

Soul narrowed his eyes, recognizing the disembodied voice not as the demon he had fought, but the one pulling the strings. So, the Kishin had been watching all this time. Before Soul could even open his mouth, a child's cry broke the silence.

A new born child's cry.

Looking at the bloodied demon, Soul trademark smirk spread across his lips. Baring his white fangs, Soul looked down at the demon.

"Too bad for you, _shit-face_, but you're a tad, too late."

Placing his lethal blade arms, on opposite sides of the demons neck; like a pair of scissors, Soul bore into its eyes- knowing he was staring right into the Kishin's eyes himself.

"Listen up, you Kishin bastard- I've got a message for you." He brought his face up close, dangerous and menacing.

"You will _never_, NEVER, fucking harm, or threaten my wife, and child, ever again! You hear me?! Because, so help me god, I'll hunt you down and I'll rip you to fucking pieces, just like I just did, with your army of insanity."

Emphasizing his statement, Soul pulled out his arms, severing the demon's head completely. The Demon's body glowed black, before decomposing into black smoke. In the center of the body glowed a red, tainted soul.

"And F.Y.I, that 'spawn' is my _son_, you fucked up piece of shit."

Arms transformed back into their bloody flesh, Soul grinned, turning to the building behind him, where the sounds of baby crying, echoed into the blood spilt night.

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Although she was tired at sore, Maka could not help but allow the smile to spread to her lips, as she stared amazingly at the bundle in her arms. She almost had to stare down at her child, in disbelief, wondering, how such a beautiful creature, had just came from her body. Well, more like _ripped _through her body, but that not the point anymore. The pain was gone, and she was holding everything she fought for in her arms. Her glorious baby.

_Her baby._

It wasn't a dream anymore. Or a fleeting fantasy. She was a mother now. She bit her bottom lip, with nervous joy.

Soul stopped at the doorway, soaking in the sight in front of him. She was glowing with such pride, such joy, that Soul had to resist the urge to run over to her, and ravish her. As her eyes fluttered close, she leaned in and kissed their child's bare head.

_Their child._

Soul felt butterflies creep into his belly. Or it could be his muscles just didn't want him to stand anymore- but he didn't care. He just wanted to watch her, in all her glory.

As her long lashes, fluttered open, her glowing, emerald gaze turned to him.

"You want me to look at your wounds?" Stein voiced in, almost exasperatedly tired, as if he'd be the one fighting the battle. Soul smiled softly, closing his eyes.

"_Nah_." He grinned feeling Maka's scrutinizing gaze on him. " I just want to hold my son."

"Your _daughter_, you mean."

That caught his attention. Soul looked at Stein with amazement. Stein smiled, as he placed his glasses, on his aging face. Stein grey gaze seemed to be soaking in the wonderful joy around him.

"Yes." He grinned. " You are the proud father of healthy baby _girl_. Congratulations."

Blinking Soul looked back over to Maka, who, although disapproved her husbands decision to not get medical attention, she tearfully smiled up at him.

Closing the distance between then, Soul leaned down and captured Maka's lips. As he pulled away, Soul looked down at his new born, daughter. And just as Maka had, Soul's eyes glowed with such pride and astonishment.

"She beautiful, isn't she Soul?' Maka whispered softly to her husband. Soul's hands had found Maka's. Bring her knuckles to his lips, he pecked them gingerly.

"Like mother, like daughter." He whispered huskily.

Resting his forehead against hers, he watched her cheeks redden, but the smile never left her lips.

"Kinda a waste of time with all the boy names, eh?" He added, smiling lovingly at her, as his calloused knuckles brushed tenderly against his little daughters round cheeks. Maka rolled her tired eyes.

"Well if someone wasn't so assured it was a boy, we would have looked into more girl names."

"I liked the first one." Soul whispered, as he reached out, begging to hold her. Maka passed the bundle gently into Soul's arms. She watched Soul cradle the bundle in his arms protectively. His crimson eyes, never left the child's face.

"Angelina?" Maka whispered, after remembering the rainy day, they had spent in each others arm, naming every name possible.

'Yeah." Soul answered. " Angelina. _Angelina Evans_" He smiled, cradling her in one arm, as his free hand, pulled gently, at the soft blanket around her face. He watched in amazement as the tiny child opened her blue eyes, and reached her tiny, but chubby hands out to grasp her father's large calloused finger.

Chuckling softly, his eyes softly stared down into hers. Angelina blinked before reaching her hands out again, her gaze fixed on her father's white hair. Soul brought his face to hers as her tiny fingers, explored his, as he kissed his baby girl's forehead.

This was it. This was his happiness. What he had been searching for, all his life. Marrying Maka, his most beloved and beautiful woman, of his life and then having _her_…

_His baby girl._

"Soul…" Stein started, as Soul ignored him. " You might want me to take a look at your wounds. You're bleeding all over the place…"

_Daddy's little Angel._

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A/N: I don't know about you.. But somehow… Soul as daddy, just makes him so much more irresistible! That's not to say he wasn't in first place. *wink*

NEXT ONE SHOT! Unable to go through another sleepless night, Soul finds away to keep his daughter from crying- he plays her a _Lullaby. _

_I've started Chapter 9 of Winter Waltz- So be patient!_

_Read and Review!_

_-Cerrdy_


	2. Lullaby

A/N: Allo! Allo! This got a lot more popularity than I thought it would! And I rather enjoy writing it… maybe _tooo_ much *grins* nom nom nom _Daddy-Soul_!

Again, _Winter Waltz _is gradually getting there.

Anywhoo… On with the menu- Erm- story

…some more _daddy-licious _Soul!!

-Cerrdy

Disclaimer: I Do not own Soul Eater.

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ROLE MODEL

Title: Lullaby

_It was quarter to three when Angelina started crying_.

If you called it 'crying'. More like shrieking like a _banshee_. And it was less then seven minutes ago, from when she just stopped crying.

Dragging out a loud, exhausted and long sigh, Soul tried to sink deeper into the depths of his pillows. Furrowing his brows, he tried ignoring the cries. He felt Maka shift in his embrace, trying the bury her face into his bare chest. Worried that she had not quite woken, Soul lay very still. Her breath tickled his collarbone, and he guessed she was still sleeping.

The shrills only got louder.

"Soul…" Maka's tired and croaky voice, murmured against his flesh. Who could possibly sleep through that? Groaning loudly, Soul lifted his arm away from its comfy and very happy position around Maka's waist. Using that arm, he ran his large fingers over his temples, trying to rid the drilling in his skull.

"Yeah.." He grunted, barely awake and sounding twice and croaky as his wife.

"…She's awake again." Maka mumbled again, making sure the Death Scythe didn't fall back to sleep.

"Yeah…" Soul grumbled again, as he ran his hands through his messy hair. He still had not opened his eyes, nor moved from his position- and he wasn't planning too either.

And if it was even possible, the crying got louder.

"Soul..." Maka murmured again, sounding more like a whine. He groaned again, before turning over on his back. Opening his crimson eyes, he blinked wearily, staring at the ceiling fan spinning above him.

"Why do I hav'ta…" With both hands free, he rubbed his tired eyes, while muffling his complaints. " We lost track of who's turn it was, anyway… The lack of sleep, is frigging up my brain."

He felt the bed shift as Maka buried her face in the pillow next to his biceps. She curled into a ball getting as comfy as possible. Soul's head rolled to the side to look at her. As she snuggled right into him, a smile appeared on her lips- seemly trying not to make a sarcastic comeback. Soul glared at her tiredly as her smile only grew.

"_I _gave birth to her." She reasoned immediately. Letting a loud sigh from his nose, Soul glared at her more as he was getting tired of that excuse. She smiled and pouted her lips slightly, without opening her eyes.

"And because _you love me_." She countered, knowing Soul was vulnerable against her secret weapon.

She won the battle when he grunted, lifting his bare muscular midriff off the sheets. Grumbling, incoherent words under his breath, he threw his feet over the side of the bed. Dragging his hand, tiredly, through his dishevelled white hair again, he yawn loudly.

He ran his hands down his face again, pulling his tired skin.

_God, he felt old … and cranky._

"Don't know what's the damn point." He grumbled, as he snatched his pants off the bedroom floor. Pulling the inside-out pant leg, he shook out his pants. " She just gonna go _off _the moment I get my comfy ass back in bed." He grunted tiredly, pulling his legs into the pants.

"You say it, as if she was an _alarm clock_…" Maka mumbled from the pillow.

Soul rolled his eyes sarcastically, before pulling on his pants. "_No_…." He paused before zipping up his fly.

"Alarm clocks usually 'shut up' after I _hit _them."

Maka's knee met his spine, and Soul groaned, grimacing.

"_I was kidding…"_

_--------------------------_

Rubbing the stubble along his jaw with his calloused fingers, Soul looked tiredly, into the mahogany wood cradle. Angelina lay in the middle, on her back, dressed in her pink, yummy-sushi pyjama suit. Her small white blanket, adorned with hand sewn Shinigami skulls, was kicked to the edge of the cradle. Her stuffed toy bunny marked with thick sewn stitch marks, was thrown onto the floor, in the midst of her tantrum. Her face was red from the crying, as she bawled her fists, and kicked her pyjama socked feet about.

"Oi…" Soul started, finding his voice thick and raspy. " Angelina… I love you to bits, an' all. But what's your damage?" He asked exasperatedly.

Angelina only answered him, with a louder shrill.

Soul grimaced, scratching the inside of his ear with his finger. " God, you got quite the pair of lungs on you…"

Reaching into the cradle, he gathered Angelina into his arms. A lazy smirk appeared on his face as he admired the small strands of blond curling on top of her round head.

'Course," He started, pulling the pink pyjama collar from her red cheeks. " Your mother was quite the _screamer _too."

Settled protectively in her father's arm, Angelina calmed- didn't stop crying, but was less shrilly. Soul rocked her back and forth, in a instinctive rhythm, trying to hush her cries. When her crying did not cease, Soul frowned and brought the child to his chest. Pillowing Angelina's small head to his shoulder, he pat her back. He began walking around the 'temporary' baby's room; which was once the storage rooms, where he kept most of his unused treasures. The large black grand piano, was one of them. But little by little, as the small baby was showered with love from everyone, and her two generous god-fathers, the room became more and more…baby room like.

-And yeah, after so much arguing, Soul and Maka decide to let _both _Shinigami and ninja be the god father. Since they argued about it like twelve year olds. Truth to be said, a god-parent was usually the one who was there during the birth. So, technically… Stein was the real god-father… but Maka and Soul would never _dream _of telling Black Star and Kidd about that-

Angelina continued crying, with small adorable hiccups in between. Soul sighed, continuing to rub the small child's back tenderly. He bounced in his step as he paced around in the dark room, to rock Angelina softly. The crying subsided, but the hiccups continued.

"What's wrong with you, anyhow?" Soul murmured. " We changed your crappy diaper, and you still cried." He walked over to the cradle and gently began to lower Angelina back into the cradle.

"Gave you some of Maka's tit..." Soul murmured, tucking her little body into her bed. Soul raised a suggestive eyebrow as he reflected the memory. " I cried a little, _watching_…." he added honestly. Angelina began to fuss again, squirming and scrunching up her face in a protest.

"And surprise!" Soul drawled sarcastically. " You started crying…again."

And she began to cry again, Soul sat down on the piano's stool, and rested his head against the cradle's wood's surface.

"_So not cool…"_

Feeling himself starting to nod off, even though Angelina was crying, Soul shook himself awake. Doing so, he shot from his seat, stumbling a bit. To prevent himself from falling, Soul steadied himself on whatever furniture was behind him- which happened to be the piano.

His hands hit the white keys, making a stumbling chime in the high notes. He frowned, wondering why Maka always left the cover off, whenever she cleaned. It was as if she _temping _him to play it. As the loud sound echoed through the night, Soul grimaced waiting for the sound to fade.

As the piano grew quiet, he noticed the room had gotten quiet too.

Curious, he peeked his head over the cradle, only to find Angelina staring up at him with inquisitive eyes. But she was… _quiet_.

Soul stared at her longer. As time went by, Angelina began to fuss again. Curiously, Soul pressed a piano key again to see what Angelina would do.

And she stopped fussing. Her curious gaze looked up at him- A gaze that he remembered Maka had, when he first met.

"Oh you've _got _to kidding me…." Soul growled. He was beginning to believe that Angelina was not his child, but a _clone _of his dear wife.

"I've got her ragging on my ass to play this darn thing- and now you too?"

Angelina only blinked, her slowly developing eyes searching the room for the new noise. Soul grimaced. If he didn't play soon, she was going to start crying again.

Cranky he stood up, scratching the back of his head in a irritated manner. He pointed a finger at her accusingly, as Angelina stared confusedly at it.

"One song. You hear? _One_." Sitting at the piano stool, he looked over at her blinking at him through the cradle's wooden bars. " And it better be 'quiet time', for the rest of the night. Deal?"

Turning his attention to the keys, Soul growled distastefully at them. All of his abhorred childhood memories taunted him on those white and black keys.

'So we meet again…" He glared venomously at the piano.

Angelina, being tired of the silence, began to fuss again. Soul's glaring softened, and he closed his eyes, pushing his negative thoughts away. Turning to fussing child, Soul raised a brow.

"I don't usually have a audience when I play… You got any requests?" Soul inquired playfully. He was answered as Angelina began to cry again. Rolling his eyes and grimacing, he looked down at the keys in thought.

"Don't exactly know any of that sappy, cheerful nonsense…" He mumbled to himself, as he scanned his mental music book. Most of his music was dark and creepy, and then Angelina would be up all night AFRAID to go to sleep- and Soul would be back to square one.

His eyes lit up, remembering a certain piece he played for Maka on their first date. It wasn't sappy, it was uplifting and beautiful. He had written the piece to creatively express how Maka's Soul felt to him. It was a powerful piece.

_It also made him lucky on his first date._

Cracking his fingers, and wiggling the tensions from his wrist, he positioned himself of the piano. Placing his bare feet on the piano's tuner steps, he winced from it's cold exterior. Closing his eyes, almost as if he was in a trance, he raised his poised wrists.

His fingers came down, before momentarily dancing across the keys. The repetitive rhythm and beat, sounded as if, wings were flapping and soaring over the clouds. Each movement made the notes reach higher and higher, while keep a steady and beautiful soar into the music.

Concentrating, he opened his eyes, to peek over at Angelina who was staring at him in wonder. Smirking he continued the dance, before allowing the tempo to get subtle and slower. Losing himself in the trance, he softly pressed the keys, as if fluttering of wings were coming to a stop.

Maka leaned against the doorframe, a loving and tender smile on her lips, watching him play.

As the piece nearly came to a stop, his fingers began dancing again. The lower fluttering rhythm continued, as his fingers danced along the higher keys gracefully. The tempo quickened back to the fluttering and soaring rhythm, returning the high and powerful flight.

And as he slowed down again, he lingered on the last notes, making them appearing as if they were fading into the distance- as if you watched yourself flying away, disappearing in the moons sky.

Quietly pulling the piano's cover down on the keys, Soul walked over to the cradle, lovingly looking down to see Angelina lost in a deep and peaceful sleep. Gently, he bent down and brushed his lip against her head as she slept.

"_Night, Angel_." He whispered softly.

As he walked out of the room, he was greeted by Maka, entangling her arms around his neck. Lips locked lovingly together, Soul's hands drifted to her waist, pulling her body close his. Soul smirked through the kiss. Pulling away, gasping for air he stared into Maka's green eyes.

"Does that piece still make you-"

"_-Oh yeah." _Maka whispered, kissing him again.

"Huh." Soul managed to get out, through the kissing. Maka's hands untangled from his neck, before her fingers slipped under the knot of his drawstring pants. She began pulling him back top their bedroom, from the front of his pants.

"You _realize _you won't be getting anymore sleep tonight. Don't you?" Maka smirked seductively, while biting her lips excitedly.

Soul shrugged grinning, almost forgetting just how tired he was.

"_Can't blame a man for tryin?"_

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A/N: Again, I don't blame Maka. People gotto make sacrifices in life; its either sleep, or go to happy land with an extremely sexy man…. *pouts* I know MY vote!!

Eyeballs hurting from eye strain…argh…

NEXT ONE SHOT:

Angelina is turning into a beautiful little girl, and Soul realizes how much she looks like her mother. But then he wonders, did any of him rub off on her? Or just Maka's? - _Daddy's Trait_

_SEE YA SOON!!_

_-Cerrdy_


	3. Daddy's Trait

A/N: I honestly need to get these ideas out of my brain, because they are taking up room for OTHER ideas- Ideas I want to go towards the OTHER story. So I get my, air quote, `flow' back. Its a lot like shooting a paintball gun… (not as easy as it looks..) only less noise, and less _mess_…*pauses*…. Unless you count those extremely sexy moments with Soul -***_gets censored for the rest of the paragraph, since she wandered into perverted fan-girl mode_****

Annnd Winter Waltz- just think of when your computer freezes and the irritating hour glass is there mocking your brutal torment- yeah…

_That _cruel.

This one-shoty has all da boys! And yeah, I'm sorry to all your Liz and Kiddo fans, that's not my gig. I like the couples brimming over the pot of INSANITY. Besides, Kidd needs a little chaos is his life and she's Discordia herself. Well… not with maiming… and massacres…and Well no, she's just… bad. And again I ramble!

Oh yeah, and there is some Spirit abuse, because its no fun when your punching bag doesn't cry ' MAAAKKAAA!" all the time.

I know. I`m a sadist- I mean a _saint_.

HAH!

Disclaimer: I own nothing…. Not even these socks.

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ROLE MODEL

Title: _Daddy's Trait_

" A Goochy goochy coo!"

"_Oi…"_

"A woogie boogie oogie! Wizzy woo!"

"…_.Seriously…"_

"Angie, pangie wangie! A woo woo woo woo!"

"…Can someone _please _stop him?"

Soul and Maka stared exasperatedly at the older man, making retarded noises, and lame-ass faces in front Angelina, whom was unbearably being tortured by the red-headed old fool. Her wide green eyes, unmistakably the colour of her mother's, stared up amazed at the old man.

_Amazed on how un-cool he was._

Maka grimaced. " Soul… why did you invite him?"

"I didn't…" Soul started to defend. " The old coot overheard me talking to Kidd, and he invited himself."

"More like, he just showed up on the front step…" Maka sighed.

Maka and Soul continued to stare.

"He's a lot like a mushroom, you know?…" Soul stared in a disbelieving awe.

" A fleshy, spore-bearing fruiting body of fungus, typically produced on soil or _bullshit?" _Maka inquired with her text-book knowledge and _bitter _resentment.

"Yeah…" Soul continued to stare. "Or… once he gets a flavour of something… like, _stupidity_, he grows off on it."

Spirit Albarn was now playing peek-a-boo behind his hands, while Angelina appeared to be reaching for her rattle.

"I can see _why _you enjoyed hitting him so much in your childhood…" Soul commented dryly to his wife, while watching the agonizing spectacle. Maka mimicked her daughter's gaze, only she remained slacked-jaw from her father's efforts.

"This _can't _be healthy for her…" Maka whispered dumbstruck. Soul snorted, agreeing completely with her.

"Yeah, the stupidity may rub off on her…"

"_My superior God-Fatherly-ness is greater than yours, cretin."_

"_The only thing superior about you, you asymmetrical Neanderthal, is the ridiculous decibel account, on which comes from your howling screamer!_

" _This isn't math class, douche bag."_

"Seems like there's a lot of that 'stupidity' floating around…" Maka comment dryly, watching the blue haired ninja, and young Shinigami, head to head in a duel of: _Who can spoil Angelina the most_- match.

Both Black Star and Kidd were constantly showering little Angelina with massive amounts of gifts. One trying to out-buy the other. At first Soul was touched by their generosity, but now it came to the point he was getting thoroughly annoyed with the male masochists. The gradually-getting-bigger gifts that Soul was having a terrible time trying to find room for, didn't tame that pesky annoyance either. And courteously of Kidd today; he lavished Angelina with a fairly large black and white (symmetrical) bouncing ball, she could sit on and bounce around and break things, while Black Star bought her a electric _car _she can drive around and crash into things. Maka will love that….

Angelina couldn't even walk yet, for Christ sakes! Or crawl at that matter!

The only people who actually bought appreciative gifts for the tiny kid; were the girls.

Slapping his hand over his face, he looked over to the girls by the doorway. Tsubaki was sipping on her cocktail, looking slightly exhausted. Soul snorted. Well of course she'd be tired. Listening to blue-haired monkey-boy bitch about his superior-ness to everyone, and lugging around that massive heavy box of a car. Soul's mind went back to the car again. Where the HELL was he going to put that…?

Maybe he could lie to Black Star and say it was broken, and return it for… I don't know… baby things?!

Liz leaned against the doorway, a video camera propped in her hand, curiously taping Maka's father making alien noises at Angelina in her cradle seat. While her other hand was occupied with a large pint of beer. Didn't Kidd say when Liz drinks, circumstances get _hairy_? He looked away, shaking his mind like an etch and sketch, as the image of Liz dressed as the _Sasquatch _infested his thoughts. That image will terrorize him for the rest of eternity…

And as we enter the _Twighlight _zone- Patti was leaning against the frame, eating one Tsubaki's home made short bread cookies, extremely…. _quiet_- hence the bizarreness. Soul's eyes drifted to her stomach, that was starting to get round and protruding. She was smiling bright and sunny, like a sunflower on sunny day.

Except a insane sunflower.

Was Patti not concerned, that her _daddy-to-be _was clearly a painstakingly thundering Looney? Soul honestly gave Kidd way too much credit.

Tsubaki had given Angelina a cute little pink hat, decorated with Shinigami skulls, to shade her face when Maka and Soul took her out for a morning stroll. But the winner of the gifts, was Liz and Patti's rattler. It was baby pink with zoo animals; mostly giraffes and large enough to drool on. Kidd kicked up a commotion on how 'unsymmetrical' the toy was- he was silenced when Patti walloped it over his head- which both Angelina and Soul enjoyed immensely.

Angelina had laughed up a storm. Soul almost died from the cuteness, when Angelina had laughed. She couldn't quite laugh hard, and strong, but her eyes went all squinty, her rosy cheeks puffed out with her mouth smiling, happy and wide- Showing off her pink gums. She kicked her feet, pulling her blanket up to her face, still smiling.

He could see a lot of Maka there.

Specially in the face she was giving to Spirit right now. It was the same face, Maka gave him when Soul turns out the lights while she was deeply immersed in her book. He loved that fire in her eye. Even when she whined.

'_Soul! I was getting to the good part!"_

_And he just HAD to._

"_Baby," he smirked. " I am the good part!"_

_The pain was all worth it._

The thought brought him back to Angelina.

She was so much like her mother. He looked over to Maka as she interrogated her father. The way she popped out her hip to one side, allowing one of her creamy long legs to stretch out, while she tapped her flip flops impatiently on the floor. Her arms crossed as she glared him down, with her deadly stern gaze. She was biting her lip, almost holding her self back from the need sort to physical violence.

_God he loved that woman._

"Papa…" Maka began to growl. " I think its time you gave Angelina a little break."

"Nonsense!" Spirit exclaimed, as he turned back to Angelina, sticking his face back into hers. Maka could only roll her eyes." Angie wangie doesn't need a breaky wakey, does she?"

Angelina's reply was taking her new rattle and sticking it up his left nostril.

As Soul was in the moment of sipping his beer, after that spectacle, he felt the pressure of the beer, nearly burst out of _his _nose. Snorting away his laughter, he turned around ignoring Spirit's heated glare.

_That proved it_- Angelina was definitely Maka's clone. It kind of disappointed him that so far, Angelina bear any of her father's traits yet.

But he wouldn't complain.

It seemed Maka tried to hide her snickering as she pushed her father away from the cradle-chair, and reached for Angelina. Noticing his daughter's actions, Spirit turned to Maka giving her puppy dog eyes. But Maka paid him no heed, as she propped Angelina's head onto her shoulders and walked away from him.

"Why don't you start the barbecue, old man?" Soul started as he sipped his beer again. Spirits blue eyes glared darts at his son-in-law.

"Yeah!" Black Star chimed in, before Spirit could open his mouth. " Put on the GRUB! What are ya flapping your trap for? To starve me to death?"

Kidd sipped on his cocktail, rolling his golden eyes. " Wouldn't want that…" he mumbled.

Spirit ignored the momentary ranting of the blue haired ninja, and focused his glare on the white-haired man, leaning against the counter. Soul's crimson eye never left Spirits, almost challenging him to open his mouth again, as he sipped on his beer.

"Listen you--" Spirit's eyes drifted to Maka as she began burning numerous holes into his skull. Not finishing his insult, pointed his finger at the new Death Scythe. " I'm on to you! Just because you're a shiny new Death Scythe, doesn't mean you can talk down to me that way!"

"_Papa_…" Maka began to warn.

"Jealous?" Soul smirked.

" And don't think you can drink away, and take advantage of beloved Maka and make her pregnant again-"

"She's my _wife_, ignoramus. And I don't need no alcohol to get away with that-"

"First time was a fluke boy-"

"You callin' my daughter a fluke? That ain't cool."

"You get her pregnant again, and I swear I'll-"

"PAPA!"

"Yes, _save_ me Maka. He's going to 'scold' me…" Soul mocked, wiggling his fingers at the steaming, red-face Spirit. Soul then grinned. " Guess I shouldn't let you know about last nights romp-mmffff!"

Maka's fingers pinched Soul's lips closed, as she glared at him. " Soul." She warned. " _No more words_."

As Spirit felt seemly smug, it changed, the moment Maka turned around with fire in her eyes. " Papa." She started through gritted teeth. " Get that meat grilling on that barbecue, before I grill _you_."

Spirit gulped and quickly shimmy-ed over to the back door, to the balcony to start the barbecue.

As Maka, clearly victorious over both males, strutted past Soul with Angelina in her arms, the girls then followed suit. Cautiously Soul bravely approached Maka.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Maka stopped walking, as did the rest of the girls. But her entire murderous demeanour transformed, as he her pissed off features, switched into a coy smile.

"Angel's _hungry_." Maka winked at Soul, knowing how awkward Soul was whenever she was breastfeeding. Almost pouty like a child; like a little boy not getting his candy. Catching his slight stunned gaze, the girls giggled as they disappeared into the living room with Maka.

Soul scratched the back his head, pink painted on his cheeks.

"_Damn_…" Black Star began. " I thought the mood swings were over?" Black Star was unfortunately one of the many victims of Maka's mood swings, when she was pregnant. They were very scary times. He sipped his beer, shaking his head from the scary memories. "Where is she goin' with tiny clone anyhow?"

Soul blushed behind his beer as the images popped into head.

"Breastfeeding."

"With her tiny tits? Can she do that?" Black Star chortled.

Soul glared venomously at the ninja, clearly protective of every attribute Maka had. Especially when it came to her more private regions.

Only _he _was allowed to make fun of them.

"Actually," Kidd began nodding his head. " From the fourth month of pregnancy, a woman's body produces hormones, that stimulate the growth of the milk duct system in the breasts. By the fifth or sixth month, the breasts are ready to produce milk. Many women's breast grow larger throughout their pregnancy. Milk production operate independently of breast size, and the more a mother breastfeeds her child, the more milk her body with produce."

Opening his eyes and notices Soul and Black Star staring at him strangely. " What?"

"Your like a text-book- with legs! Did you _memorize _those baby books, I gave you?" Soul gaped.

"Indeed I did. Since I am to become a father, I felt it would be more wise to be intellectually advanced in the field." Kidd reasoned simply. " They sufficiently provided most of the answers to my inquisitions."

"Most?" Soul asked curiously.

Black Star listened closely, as he stuffed his face with shrimp from the shrimp ring. Kidd swallowed his drink before continuing.

"Yes," He cleared his throat. " They were, however vague on some aspects."

"Like…?" Soul pressed.

"Well, for instance… their ability to have a mental break down over a spilled glass of chocolate milk in one second; A threatening attempt to _gut _their partner with a butter knife, in the next; only to jump their partner, tear off their clothes in the middle of the kitchen floor and ravage them _senseless_, in the last." He paused taking another sip, as Soul and Black Star stared like deer in the headlights.

Ignoring their stares and Black Star's twitching in his right eye, Kidd continued. " Oh and yes… The craving for _pickles _and _ice-cream_, continues to bewilder my mind."

Soul snorted. " Try pickles, macaroni and cheese, with mustard- _all together_."

"That's…. _disgusting _dude…Even _I _wouldn't eat that. Did you kiss her after that?" Black Star paled, not liking the way the shrimp hit his stomach.

"I _had _to…" Soul grimaced remembering the feral predatory gleam in her eyes, that day. " I survived… after two bottles of mouth wash later."

"Oh man…"

"But like you said Soul, everything you went through was worth it. Especially when Angelina arrived." Kidd assured, mostly to himself, because he was determined to live through the rest of this pregnancy.

Soul's crimson eyes stared off into the distance, as a warm smile came onto his lips. " Yeah, it really was."

"I'm looking forward to it, then." Kidd smiled. " I have quite confidence, that Patty will bear me two, perfectly symmetrical twins."

"_Twins_?" Soul gaped. " Oh Kidd, you just cursed yourself."

"How do you mean?"

"Think how big Maka was…" Black Star started widening is arms. " _Then double it_."

Soul held up his fingers counting off his reasons. " Double the morning sickness. Double the mood swings- which I do NOT want be around for- Double the consumption of food. Double the crazy bizarre food cravings-"

"Double the _fun_!" Black Star over-all stated, giving Kidd a thumbs up.

All boys took a sip from their drinks, a silence thickening the air. Kidd looked worried to hell, while Soul smiled, looking back on the memories, and Black Star deep in thought of something.

"Hey… about the breastfeeding thing…" Black Star started. Soul closed his eyes, fuelling his temper not to hit him, if he said another word about his wife's breasts. Black Star looked up thinking.

"Imagine if _Blair _was breastfeeding…"

All boys stared off into space, slightly stunned of the image. Soul's mouth dropped.

"_It would be like, milking a cow…"_

"_Who _would be like milking a cow?" A chipper but threatening voice inquired.

Soul turned around in a flash to see his beloved wife standing behind him, holding a rather peppy little Angelina. It looks like Liz got a small pink bow in her small, blond curls on the top of her head. Soul's eyes drifted back to Maka, smiling like a fox.

A very annoyed fox.

"We were talking about Bla--" Black Star was silenced as Kidd shoved a beer can in his mouth.

Maka's interest quickly returned back to her husband. She raised a brow as he smiled nervously. The stare was interrupted as Angelina, noticing her daddy, reached out her arms in a playful gurgle. Sighing Maka passed Angelina to Soul.

"I don't think I will be able to breastfeed too much longer, Soul" She sighed.

Pulling out the beer can from his mouth, Black Star grinned. " SEE! Told you! She is too small!"

Maka's head slowly turned to Black Star's direction. Feeling the heat, Kidd grabbed Black Star's head, and forced him to look away from her, before her gaze turned him to stone.

"Oh look at the fine craftsmanship on this mahogany door frame. Simply exquisite!" Kidd gushed, trying to play innocence, when really he should let Black Star get the crap get beaten out of him.

"Why the hell would I stare at a stupid doorframe, you queer-assed-pansy?"

Kidd's distraction worked as Maka returned her attention back to Soul- who had concern written all over his face. Seeing the panic in his crimson eyes, Maka reached up and patted his cheeks, smiling at him, reassuring him.

"_It seems_…" Maka started before crossing her arms awkwardly across her chest. " That Angelina has one of her father's traits after all."

Soul blinked confused, as Angelina looked up at him, reaching for his white hair. Soul's eyes then widened, as Maka hugged her chest, in mild discomfort. She was actually rubbing one of her breasts. Realization hit him, as a shy smile spread to her lips, and red painted her cheeks.

Soul's cheeky trademark grin stretched across his face, baring his sharp jagged teeth.

Angelina smiled happily too, showing off her _two small jagged teeth_, growing in the front.

"AHAHA!" Black Star laughed, obviously eavesdropping on the entire situation. " I get it!

Both meister and Death Scythe weapon, glared venomously at Black Star, who was laughing up a storm. The boy didn't know that he was in deep shit, but he continued to provoke his appending doom.

Maka grabbed the phone book from the shelf, in the kitchen.

"_Say Maka, how's your tit?"_

"MAKA…"

Spirit, unfortunately chose to stick his head through the door at that moment.

"MAKAAAA!" He sang. " The chicken _tits _are ready---"

"CHOP!!!!!!"

The word of the day, was kept quiet, due to the fact Maka would _destroy anyone who mentioned it. Spirit and Black Star, still remained unconscious through the rest of the barbecue._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_A/N: I want to draw Spirit as a mushroom now HAH! Once Angelina gets older, she's going to be quite the sassy little girl with that sharp grin of hers. Looks like an angel, but smiles like the devil!_

_Haven't planned the next one yet, but I'm sure I'll come up with something._

_I need sleeeep!_


End file.
